Is She Into You?
It’s hard to tell. Women are so complex that it is hard for men to think on that level. I am not saying men are stupid. They just function at a much simpler level than women.
For example:
A woman thinks: He said he was going to call at 6 and it is now 6:15. WTF. He must not like me. What did I do? Is it my arm fat? I really need to go to the gym. God, he is SO shallow. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. Then again, would I date someone with arm fat like this? No. Maybe I shouldn’t have let him get to third base on the 1st date. He probably thinks I am a slut. What an ass. I am not a slut! Just because I went through that phase in college where I knocked out half the football team doesn't mean I am easy. He is probably with some other girl right this very minute. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN he is a player. I bet everything he said to me on our last date was purely to get in my pants. If he calls, I am not answering. Prick.
A man thinks: She’s cool. I like her boobs. I’ll call her after I finish smokin’ this guy in Halo. Pow Pow. I wonder if she’ll go for a threesome with her hot friend, Judy. Judy is smokin’. I like Judy’s boobs too. Judy has a nice car. I want a nice car. A Ferrari Spider. Oh yeah. I bet I could get a lot of women with that car. See a lot of boobs. Are we out of beer?
Am I right? Probably not. I have no idea how you guys think. I just know that if I was a guy and could get away with it, I’d think like that too. However, my genetic make-up doesn’t allow for that type of carefree attitude, so I am left jumping to conclusions and creating false realities about my massive arm fat and level of sluttiness.
I think it’s pretty easy to tell if a guy likes me or not. You guys have it harder though. Most women aren’t going to let you know if they like you or not right off the bat. You have to look for hints and, let’s face it fellas, you are terrible at taking hints. I thought everyone knew this one, but apparently not. It’s a pretty easy way to tell if the chick digs you on your first date.
The Pat
If a woman pats you on the back during the hug, it is a very bad sign. Most people don’t even realize they are performing The Pat.If she digs you, her subconscious will want as much of her body in contact with as much as your body for the longest period of time possible. Obviously pats detract from this.
If you receive the pat, PAT HER BACK. Don’t go for an embrace when it’s really just a friendly hug. You are going to annoy her and possibly creep her the hell out and then you will have No Chance of hitting that in the future.
P.S. I forgot to say that if the Pat is on your behind, then Good Sign. She wants you. Go for it.
P.S. #2 - I neglected to state that lack of patting does not indicate that she is going to let you bump her dirty. After posting this, I started to pay attention to the way I hug and everyone knows that I get around when it comes to hugging. I have hugged like 15 people this week. Go ahead. Say it. Don't be shy. I am mad pimpin, son. My point is, I will only pat if I am trying to send a message to the hugee that he needs to leave me the hell alone. It's more polite than a knee to the balls. I have several guy friends that I gladly mash my body against because I get to cop cheap feels that way. Cheap feels are always good.
posted by Crystal at 9:33 AM 17 comments
For example:
A woman thinks: He said he was going to call at 6 and it is now 6:15. WTF. He must not like me. What did I do? Is it my arm fat? I really need to go to the gym. God, he is SO shallow. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. Then again, would I date someone with arm fat like this? No. Maybe I shouldn’t have let him get to third base on the 1st date. He probably thinks I am a slut. What an ass. I am not a slut! Just because I went through that phase in college where I knocked out half the football team doesn't mean I am easy. He is probably with some other girl right this very minute. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN he is a player. I bet everything he said to me on our last date was purely to get in my pants. If he calls, I am not answering. Prick.
A man thinks: She’s cool. I like her boobs. I’ll call her after I finish smokin’ this guy in Halo. Pow Pow. I wonder if she’ll go for a threesome with her hot friend, Judy. Judy is smokin’. I like Judy’s boobs too. Judy has a nice car. I want a nice car. A Ferrari Spider. Oh yeah. I bet I could get a lot of women with that car. See a lot of boobs. Are we out of beer?
Am I right? Probably not. I have no idea how you guys think. I just know that if I was a guy and could get away with it, I’d think like that too. However, my genetic make-up doesn’t allow for that type of carefree attitude, so I am left jumping to conclusions and creating false realities about my massive arm fat and level of sluttiness.
I think it’s pretty easy to tell if a guy likes me or not. You guys have it harder though. Most women aren’t going to let you know if they like you or not right off the bat. You have to look for hints and, let’s face it fellas, you are terrible at taking hints. I thought everyone knew this one, but apparently not. It’s a pretty easy way to tell if the chick digs you on your first date.
The Pat
If a woman pats you on the back during the hug, it is a very bad sign. Most people don’t even realize they are performing The Pat.If she digs you, her subconscious will want as much of her body in contact with as much as your body for the longest period of time possible. Obviously pats detract from this.
If you receive the pat, PAT HER BACK. Don’t go for an embrace when it’s really just a friendly hug. You are going to annoy her and possibly creep her the hell out and then you will have No Chance of hitting that in the future.
P.S. I forgot to say that if the Pat is on your behind, then Good Sign. She wants you. Go for it.
P.S. #2 - I neglected to state that lack of patting does not indicate that she is going to let you bump her dirty. After posting this, I started to pay attention to the way I hug and everyone knows that I get around when it comes to hugging. I have hugged like 15 people this week. Go ahead. Say it. Don't be shy. I am mad pimpin, son. My point is, I will only pat if I am trying to send a message to the hugee that he needs to leave me the hell alone. It's more polite than a knee to the balls. I have several guy friends that I gladly mash my body against because I get to cop cheap feels that way. Cheap feels are always good.
posted by Crystal at 9:33 AM 17 comments
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